atoms into suns

And my fishing bobbers, cookie sheets, magnets, roll of aluminum foil, paper clips, cotton balls, toy train, molecular model sets, and a bunch of other stuff.

The local homeschool group has a coop for a few classes, like drama, science, and crafts. I teach the science class, and I like to bring in lots of hands-on stuff for the kids to make a mess with. Today I did what several of us do every week: pulled the car up to the building, unloaded my stuff, parked in the lot, walked to the building with the kids, took one load and the kids inside, got the kids settled, then went back out to get the things I'd left outside.

It was all gone. A small plastic bin and a paper grocery bag full of stuff. We searched the building, the grounds, even checked the dumpster, but didn't find a scrap of it.

It's not like I left it next to a busy street with a big FREE sign on it. The classes are in the community building of a cohousing community and the stuff was left on a sidewalk on a cul-de-sac for a max of 20 minutes. The only people who'd be in the area were the residents of the cohousing community and us homeschool folks.

The whole thing just bummed me out, because it made it hard to teach a good class. I had accumulated a bin full of supplies that were good props for teaching science to little kids but which wouldn't really have much use for most people. The things that bum me out the most are my kid's wooden train cars, for obvious reasons, and my molecular model sets, because they're expensive to replace.

I guess I've been lucky until now, since I haven't really had to deal with theft before, or at least not on such a personal level. The people who call me to tell me I owe them money on a credit card I've never had? They piss me off, but it's not personal -- they're a voice on the phone. Besides, with them I have some recourse -- I'm going to be placing nice phone calls to a couple of state attorneys general soon. But with this, there was actually a flesh-and-blood person who walked within 20 feet of me and on the other side of a wall, saw my stuff there, and decided to walk off with it. It's a lot more personal.

I hope I'm wrong. Maybe somebody did think it was just sitting there for the taking and will return it all when they see the big LOST signs on the doors, but lately I'm not very optimistic about human nature.

I walked into the bookstore the other day and for some reason wasn't able to make it past the first table. You know, the one they put right in front of the door, the one that has the shiny, expensive New Releases on it.

One book drew me in: a large photo book with a great picture on the front. National Geographic, so you know they're great pictures. The title was simply Work, and it was about people around the world doing the work they do to survive.

I started flipping through it, and one picture made me stop. Two young Buddhist monks, dressed in orange robes, holding out land mines in their hands for the photographer to see.

I stopped because while I've read the news stories about demining operations, I never imagined it looked like this. I had pictured troops in olive green, with thick flak jackets and kevlar helmets, with lots of specialized equipment. No doubt they're out there, too, but these boys were doing the same work with nothing to protect them. No vests, no equipment visible in the picture, only a walking stick.

In a way, it made perfect sense. These were people who had devoted their lives to a spiritual existence, to trying to transcend everyday life and help others do the same. But cloistered prayers only go so far. These kids were going out and doing dangerous work in order to save others. I believe that prayer is a great thing, but God still needs us to get up and do things so He can work through us, and these monks were doing that to the point of being willing to sacrifice their lives.

I stared at that picture for a few minutes in the store. I bought the book. It hurt a little to pay the $35, but at least I had a gift card for part of it.

Once I got it home, though, I found the photo that haunts me.

There is a picture of a baby. Grimy and naked, lying on the sidewalk with a cup next to her. Begging.

The caption simply says, "Baby left to beg alone, Guangdong, Shenzhen, China. 1992."

Where is this baby's mother? Her father? I know there are desperate people out there, so poor that I can't fathom it. But this? Who could leave their baby, alone and naked, on the street? I'd like to think that her parents care for her, that things have gotten better, that they really do love her like parents should. Maybe they put her there while they begged not far away, close enough to watch her, hoping to get more money from two begging cups than they would from one. I don't know. I involuntarily think of all the horrors that could happen to her while she lies there, defenseless.

There are people walking past, none looking at the baby. The cup doesn't have any money visible in it. The picture was taken 14 years ago. What is this child doing now? Shenzhen is one of the Chinese success stories now, with a business and construction boom that's transforming China and the world. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that this could happen there; there are desperate people in rich American cities, too. Besides, Shenzhen wasn't the boomtown in 1992 that it is now.

It's hard to tell for sure, but the baby looks like she's over a year old, even close to a year and a half. Why does she just lie there? Can't she crawl, or even walk? Does she get cold, lying on the sidewalk, naked? Does she cry sometimes? Do people ever play with her? Smile at her? Or do they just ignore her? Does anyone ever scoop her up in their arms and cry?

I wish I had a good way to conclude this, but I don't. I just keep trying to find the words.

For the past several months I've been taking a drive a couple times a week, one that takes a little over an hour each way. This adds up to a lot of time alone in the car with little to entertain me. Music doesn't keep my brain engaged; it's too easy to slip into a semi-comatose state. So I've been listening to a lot of talk radio.

At first it was something to keep me entertained, but morbid curiosity kept me coming back for more. I scan through the stations, listening to whatever the radio settles on next. The sports and Spanish-language stations I flip past, but I find myself listening to more and more of the political talk programs. Mostly I'm curious to hear what the hosts are ranting about this time. I like to listen to other people's reasoning and opinions, and since the US is so divided these days it gives me a little insight into what people are so enraged about.

That's a nice way of saying that the hosts are abusive, egotistical, rude, abrasive, extreme, and divisive.

As I drive I listen to hosts yelling about half-truths and imagined faults of those they disagree with, stating opinions as facts and shutting down any attempt at debate by abusing their opponents or just turning the volume down on the callers so they can shout over them.

I got my first taste of Air America. I had hoped that, as the answer to right-wing radio, they'd be reasonable and balanced, but they're just as abrasive.

Then there are the religious stations. I find myself listening to these more and more, in part because while they are often just as opinionated about current events, at least they're more polite about it. The other reason I listen to them is that, again, I love to hear how people think. I grew up Catholic, so even though I have a Christian background and know the stories and the history, a lot of the evangelical movement that's so strong now comes at these from a different perspective.

Interestingly enough, there's a unifying factor in all these different stations: the commercials. There are tons of commercials on all these stations outlining shaky business advice (invention and patent help, abusive commercials about how stupid you are and how you won't be successful until you Buy This Book!), investments (buy gold!), and questionable health supplements (anti-aging, hair loss, supplements made with everything from seaweed to cartilage to vitamins that don't exist). It's funny to hear the same commercials on all these stations with such different views, to hear the right-wing and left-wing hosts both telling me to buy gold. Advertisers, shrewd students of human nature that they are, seem to know that even if the politics are different, the listeners are otherwise the same.

Which makes me worry, since I've been listening to this crap voluntarily, several hours a week, for months now.

Next stop: the library's book-on-tape section. There's got to be something better I can be feeding my brain.

When you can't tell if someone's malicious or just inept, it's time to get someone else to do the job.

Me: <reading over Bill's shoulder> "Tens of thousands to be homeless for months." Where do you put tens of thousands of homeless people?

Bill: In a Superdome!

Me: Yeah, but football season's starting up in a month or two. And we all know football's more important than homeless people.

Bill: coughSarcasmcough

Me: Well? Can you see them cancelling the football season so they can use the stadium to house homeless people?

Bill: No, but they'll probably tax all the homeless people to repair the Superdome.